Not so cute Jake

Ok, my beautiful, funny, rambuncious (I don't know how to spell that!), four year old son is having one of his meltdowns. My little guy has a temper that when it's triggered....LOOK OUT!!! As I said in one of my earlier posts, I think he has some issues that stem from his previous experiences before he came to live with us. He was a rage filled baby and toddler, and although much of his anger has calmed down, every once in awhile it rears it's ugly head again. For example, after I had picked him up from preschool, I hurriedly put him in the car and he insisted on doing up his own seatbelt. I shut the door, hopped in the driver's seat and took off. Not three seconds later he began to throw a fit because he couldn't get his seatbelt done up. Rather than pull over and help him, I just told him it was ok and not to worry about it. Big mistake on my part! He proceeded to get angrier and angrier as his frustration level rose. By the time we got home he was in a full fledged raging fit. I calmly drug him out of the car, took him in the house and put him in his room for time out. I've found the quickest way to calm him down is to leave him alone. Unfortunately, he decided to begin destroying his room and then proceeded to dump the laundry basket out and throw the laundry all over the place. Trying to talk him through it when he's in the moment is useless. I stood over him and waited until he stopped his screaming and then calmly told him he couldn't come out until the laundry was picked up. His room was too far gone for him to be able to clean it up himself, so I resigned myself to the fact that I was going to have to take care of that part. The laundry was another story! He tossed it up and down the hall several times, into his room, out of his room and into the bathroom, down the hall again and finally ended up tossing the laundry basket into the hall closet. Once he calmed down, I told him he could come out as soon as the laundry was cleaned up and then he proceeded to quietly reverse the damage he had done. I swear, that boy is going to age me faster than the rest of the kids combined!

My heart breaks for him when he loses control like that because I know there is a part of him that simply cannot control the anger. I know that he suffered neglect and abuse before he came here, and I have no doubt that has had an effect on his ability to cope. He's improved by leaps and bounds but I think there are underlying issues that will be a challenge for him to deal with for a long time to come. Of course, part of it can be chalked up to personality, but seeing his hurt heart at times like this almost brings me to tears. Why did he have to experience the challenges that he did? Why didn't the Lord allow him to come to us before all of that happened? I'll never have the answers to those questions, but as his mom it's my obligation and duty to try and teach him that he IS loved and will never be abandoned again. My sweet boy, I love you with all my heart!