Not sure anyone really reads this blog, but it's the only journal-type outlet I have so I guess I'll keep going. Besides, I took a nap today and now I can't sleep!
Easter weekend has been a nice, little vacation for me. Well, at least somewhat nice. I did end up with an annoying little cold that took full advantage of me. Jay actually had Thurs and Fri off for their spring break (the kids don't get a break for another couple of weeks) and we took a couple of hours and did a little shopping. I re-learned a couple of truths....1st- I'm really not a shopper. After a few minutes of jostling around pushy customers, I'd rather just grab whatever and run for the nearest exit. 2nd- Maybe it would be a little more appealing if there were more funds to spend on said shopping excursions. Maybe not, though. I'm turning into a scrooge and have a hard time wanting to spend money on things that aren't absolutely necessary. Comes from years of trying to be frugal, I guess. I mean, really, if it's just going in one end and out the other...what a waste!! (Pun intended.)
So, shopping wasn't a highlight, but the rest of the weekend was. Saturday was busy with last minute Easter preps and a quick run to do Mom's hair. The past year and a half, since her heart surgery, I've treasured each and every moment I've had with her. I try really hard to make it over to Logan once a week to shampoo and fix her hair for her and I look forward each week to that opportunity to be with her. She's still pretty weak and kind of frail, and it's hard to watch, but she's still here with all her spunk and that's a huge blessing. I took Maleia with me this time and it was fun to have a little girl time with her. What a cutie! We talked about silly things, serious things, and everything in between. That is, until she fell asleep on the way home!
After my quick jaunt to Logan, I came home to do a little kitchen cleaning before the egg decorating could commence. Of course, Jake and Maleia were the only ones that wanted to dye the eggs but we had fun anyway! 2 dozen eggs later and we were ready for Easter.
The other really great part about this weekend was spending time listening to General Conference. I look forward to each conference session and always feel a bit sad when it ends. It's a time for me to reflect on those important truths that the gospel brings and having Easter fall on the same weekend makes it even more special. It's the time that I can re-evaluate the goals and blessings of my life, as well as renew my personal relationship with the Savior. Oh how I love Him! I want to live a more Christ-like life to honor His sacrifice for me. I came away feeling that I need to work harder to love, forgive, and serve others as He would do. I'll be honest, there are those in life who have hurt me in ways I never could've imagined and I'm struggling with the forgiveness part. I can blame and hold a grudge with the best of them, but ultimately I'm the one that's hurt. Somehow I've got to get past the pain and anger and learn to love and accept. It's a hard challenge that I will continue to fight until I can honestly say in my heart that forgiveness has replaced the dark anguish, pain and fear. I'm human, with mortal weaknesses. What can I say? I'm a work in progress.
I've thought a lot about the challenges life gives each and every one of us. It's almost as if once one hurdle is crossed, another one crops up to test and try us, be it simple or almost insurmountable. The lessons learned can either hinder us or lift us, depending on how we deal with them. Over the last few years, I've relied heavily on a certain hymn to give me the comfort and strength I've needed to overcome those hurdles-
Where can I turn for peace? Where is my solace
When other sources cease to make me whole?
When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice,
I draw myself apart, searching my soul?
Where, when my aching grows, where, when I languish,
Where, in my need to know, where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand? He, only One.
He answers privately, reaches my reaching
In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend.
Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching.
Constant he is and kind, Love without end.
That's what I'm looking for. Love without end.
