Round 1

Those of you who know Janzyn, know he's a wildman. Literally! This kid goes a hundred miles an hour and has no fear. He climbs everything and doesn't know how to slow down. He's the entertainment part of sacrament meeting except for those who actually want to listen to the talks! He does his best to keep up with his older brother, who is no slouch when it comes to energy, and sometimes it gets him into some trouble.


Round 1
Stitches 1- little man 0

Jake was doing a little batting practise and little man met the end of the metal bat. He's a tough cookie, though. As we were driving to the emergency room he kept saying, "Mom, I not cry, I not cry." Meanwhile the tears were pouring down his cheeks and co-mingling with the blood. Once we were admitted he was still crying and hiccuping at the same time until the numbing agent took effect and then it was all I could do to keep him on the exam table. 3 stitches later and we were off. As we were leaving the hospital he insisted on running down the ramp and all I could imagine was him taking a nose dive and heading back in for round 2! Luckily we made it home without any further damage and he's running around as if nothing ever happened.

I never imagined that I would still be raising a toddler at this age, but I'm so lucky that I am! He is so full of life and I can't imagine how boring things would be without him. He's definitely contributed to the grey hairs that keep multiplying on my head but hey, that's what hair color is for, right? He brings so much joy into our family and I'm so grateful to be his mom.

Changes

I will never forget the moment Cecy was born. I was so shocked to have a girl! I secretly wanted a daughter but kept telling myself I was going to have a boy so when she came out without the extra parts, I was thrilled! She became my little buddy and I loved having a mini me. All the frilly, girly, pink stuff tickled me and I just couldn't get enough. Jayson had his dad and wanted little to do with me so it did my heart good to have a little one who only wanted Mama. She was a definite girly girl and we had so much fun together!

When Cecy was 4 years old, she was diagnosed with diabetes. It was the one of the worst days of my life! I couldn't believe my beautiful, perfect daughter didn't have a perfect body. So many tears were shed and I felt as if my life was turned completely upside down. It took quite awhile to adjust to the "new" lifestyle and I wish I could say I did it gracefully, but to be honest I went kicking and screaming into this new life of diabetes. I didn't want it, I didn't ask for it, and I certainly didn't like it. I hated the fact that I couldn't do anything to make my daughter better. The world of shots and finger pricks was one I didn't want to accept but accept I must, so we trudged along, learning as we went. Cecy, on the other hand, embraced it as her new life and took everything in stride. Maybe she was too young to really understand or maybe she knew deep down that this was meant to be. I'm sure in the years since, she's questioned why and had moments of wanting to get off the diabetes train, but it's her life and she's got a lifetime ticket.

When Cec was around 11 she was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. Not a big deal but just another auto-immune disease. It meant she would need to take another medicine for the rest of her life. What's one more? We moved on, into the world of the teens, and faced all the ups and downs that ensued. As she struggled with managing her diabetes through those rough years, I felt like I was hanging on by the tips of my fingernails. We made it through unscathed and although I never stopped worrying, I knew she had to be the one in charge when it came to her health.

When Cecy was first diagnosed with diabetes, I have to admit one of the big fears I had was that she wouldn't be able to have children. I knew it was possible but would be a big risk. I talked to her doctors about it and was reassured that when the time came, she could weigh all the risks and decide for herself if that was what she wanted. I decided not to worry about things that I had no control over and just concentrate on the things I did.

Cecy hit her 20s with a bang. She had moved back home after a short jaunt with living on her own. She still wasn't exactly sure what she wanted to do with her life but was thick into the social scene. She was feeling more self confident than I had ever seen her and was really enjoying it. There was only one problem. She had begun having some issues with her blood sugars bottoming out, something that had never happened before. It was so frightening to see her experiencing low blood sugar reactions and struggling to get her to wake up enough to eat or drink something to bring her blood back up. She had not been feeling well but couldn't really tell me what was wrong and she had lost a significant amount of weight. Although she was enjoying the weight loss, the rest of it was no bueno. She couldn't keep anything down, she looked positively green all the time, and just felt like crap. We took her to our family doctor, her diabetes doctor, back to the family doc and so on. This went on for a month or more and we were all getting frustrated. Her low blood sugar reactions were getting more severe, and she was tired of not ever feeling good but no one seemed to know what was wrong. She had numerous blood tests and everything was normal, even though she was beginning to look like death warmed over.

One evening, she came to me crying and saying she just couldn't take it anymore. I decided to take matters into my own hands and if the regular docs couldn't pinpoint the problem, maybe an ER doc could. I loaded her up and took her to the hospital with the hopes that maybe we could get some answers. The first thing the ER doc said to us was that the ER was for emergencies and obviously she wasn't one of them. I was furious! He decided to just watch her for a couple of hours and then send us home. I was so frustrated that I wanted to bawl. My daughter was sick and no one was doing anything about it! Just as they were getting ready to release her, her blood sugars dropped again. The nurse came whisking into the room with orange juice and graham crackers, to which after eating them Cecy proceeded to throw them right back up. The doc came in and asked if that was a common occurrence and I wanted to scream! That was exactly what we had been trying to tell him! Our family doc was gone that weekend so the doc on call was paged. He decided to admit her into the hospital for more tests. Whew! Finally some action! I was never so happy to have her admitted into the hospital in all my life. Little did I know the answers weren't going to be that easy to find.

All the tests kept coming back normal but she was going downhill fast. After 4 days her vitals were all bottoming out, she had a wicked case of pneumonia that she hadn't had before and she was slipping further and further into a dark hole. Eventually the doc decided to send her to the University hospital in Salt Lake and literally as they were loading her onto the stretcher for transport, he came in with a possible answer. Addisons. It's an auto-immune disease where the adrenal glands that control every organ in the body stop functioning. He gave her a shot of steroids and said if it wasn't Addisons it wouldn't hurt her but if it was it would make a world of difference. She was almost comatose by that time but they were able to get her vitals stabilized and off we went. That was the longest ride I've ever experienced as I sat next to her in the ambulance and I said a continuous prayer all the way there. Once we got there, a whole team of docs jumped right in and started taking care of her. Yes, indeed it was Addisons. It was remarkable to watch the transformation over the next few days. She went from a listless, pale, weak little soul back to the vibrant happy girl she was. We were later told that if she hadn't received that first dose of steroids before they loaded her onto the ambulance, she never would've survived the hour long trip to the hospital. Her life was literally spared. The diagnosis would mean that she would be on steroids for the rest of her life, but I didn't care. I had my daughter back.

One of the side effects of Addisons is that it shuts down the ovaries prematurely. Most women go into menopause in their early 30s, so we were told that if Cecy wanted to try and have a family she shouldn't hold off. Of course, throw in the diabetes and that only complicates the whole picture. We were told that it was possible, but it wouldn't be easy to achieve and if she did manage to get pregnant it would be an extremely high risk pregnancy. Cecy and I talked long hours about it and this mama's heart was frightened of the thought. Cecy had always wanted to be a mom and even though she knew adoption was a great option, she still wanted to try. Shortly after she was married, Cecy and Andy were presented with a possible adoption situation and they both thrilled at the thought of becoming parents so soon. Selfishly, I hoped this would change her mind about wanting to try to have a child of her own. Unfortunately, the adoption didn't work out and we all suffered the heartache of a failed adoption.

Fast forward to today! It's been 2 years since the failed adoption and now we are embarking on the pregnancy ride! It is such a miracle that Cecy has been able to even become pregnant and we are all holding our breath and bending our knees, praying that all goes well. I'm elated and terrified all at the same time. Cecy, on the other hand, has taken it all in stride. Once again, she has shown true faith in the blessings she's been given. She said to me when I expressed some concern, "Mom, I can't worry about what-ifs. Let's just concentrate on the here and now and enjoy this journey and worry about things if or when they happen." She's a wise soul! So, we will enjoy each and every moment of this pregnancy and continue to pray that everything will be fine. Now, I just need to get my head wrapped around the idea of being a grandma!

Bear Lake

One of our favorite summertime activities is loading up the Ex and heading up to the Anderson summer home in Bear Lake. I get excited every time we start planning our little vaca to one of my favorite places on earth. The house has been in the family for generations and though it's nothing fancy, it's the place where some of the best memories are made. In fact, the 2nd date I went on with Jay was up to the house for an afternoon of Bear Lake fun!

Over the years, we've shared it with family and friends, but the best times are with our own little brood. As the kids get older, it means that much more to me to gather my chicks around me. Unfortunately, we ended up not having everyone together this time and it just felt off. Oh, don't get me wrong, we still had a blast with excursions to the lake, campfires replete with hot dogs and s'mores, and even an evening in the metropolis of Montpelier, during a rainstorm, for pizza and a movie. It was great, but we missed not having everyone with us. Our family is large enough now that we fill the house with bodies in every bed and overflow on the couches. It's great! I hope the kids will hold close those memories we are trying to give them. I know for Jay's family, the memories continue to play a big part in their lives and I just hope we can continue on with that legacy!

Whew!

Well, that was a long vacation from blogging! Actually, I've tried to sit down and blog numerous times but when it came to actually putting words down, for some reason I just couldn't do it. So much has happened in our lives over the last several months and I can't even begin to recount it all. From birthdays, to graduations and everything in between. But this I will say, we've had good times and bad but through it all we still love each other!

I'm one lucky mama! I don't mean to brag, well maybe a little, but I just think my family is the bomb! My kids are all growing up to be awesome people and even the littles amaze me every day. What a grand life I have! It's definitely not always easy and there are moments when I could just hop in the car and never look back but those moments pass and I get over myself long enough to realize how truly blessed I am.

We've taken on a challenge made by our bishop to turn off the "white noise" in our lives for the month of June. Meaning, no TV, only uplifting music, etc. We've even limited our computer time. I've been really impressed with the kids as we've concentrated on building our relationships with each other instead of filling our days with noise. Oh, don't get me wrong, we still have plenty of noise! It's just coming from us instead of outside sources. We've spent the time playing more with each other, laughing louder, listening harder and learning to appreciate each other that much more. It's evident that we had allowed other things to take front stage in our lives and sadly, it wasn't until we turned off that "white noise" that we realized how deaf we had become to each other. Hopefully when this month ends we will be able to discipline ourselves enough to not go back but keep moving forward. Life sometimes just gets in the way of living, if you know what I mean!

Tired!

I'm tired! I don't know what it is about winter but it makes me tired. I sit around all day, trying to convince myself that I really do want to tackle the laundry and other gruesome household chores. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail. Lately there's been a whole-lotta failing going on.

Case in point, it's Tuesday and all I've been able to accomplish thus far this week is to put my new sheets in the washer. Oh, and I did clean up the raw egg mess Janzyn made this morning. That's about it! Sad, sad, sad. I had to go out this morning for my yearly boob squishing so I was actually showered and dressed before ten so I'm pretty proud of myself for that.

I'm just really having a difficult time wanting to do anything or go anywhere. I dream of spring afternoons when I can throw up the windows and let the fresh air waft into my stuffy house. I need to take this time to deep clean all my closets and drawers, but it's not happening. What is wrong with me?!

I know! I need a vacation! To a nice, warm, sunny destination that will lift my spirits and boost my melatonin levels. Anyone want to babysit my hundreds of minions?

Sweet and innocent? NOT!

Alas, the time has come. No more putting it off in hopes of a miracle. It's time to get serious!!! With potty training, that is. Let me preface this to say, there is nothing I hate more about motherhood than potty training. Hence the reason I've delayed with this last munchkin. I was really hoping to hold out till summer when he could run around naked, but I guess it's not to be. I made a half hearted attempt a few weeks ago, but we were both frustrated and I caved. Back to the diapers we went.

Well, recently things have turned a little nasty. Did I just say a little? I meant, ALOT nasty. Janzyn decided that the best way to let me know he had a poopy diaper was to bring me a handful of the offensive substance. (Gag, retch, and even dry heave a few times! And that was all from me!) Well, he's graduated to trying to change his own poopy diaper without letting me in on the fun. He will strip down, take whatever article of clothing he can find to try and wipe his bum, and then proceed to dress himself again, often times in Jake's clothing. Then he simply wipes his hands all over the floor, the bed, the dresser, whatever is convenient. It's DISGUSTING to the max!

So, today is D-day. He lasted all of about 3 minutes in his first pair of big boy unders. The second pair lasted a bit longer and then it was time for a nap. No way in h-e-double hockey sticks was I going to lay him down in just unders so the diaper came out. I know, I know, in all the good books it says once you take the diaper off you're never suppose to put on back on, but come on people! I really don't need a complete bed stripping right now. I'm still scrubbing carpet, for Pete's sake! I guess we'll just have to see how the rest of the day goes. Wish me luck!

Do Better

Ok, so I don't have any fun pictures to put up since my camera went kapoots so just imagine some bright fireworks with me gazing up into the night sky. No, really! Ok, not really. New Years Eve was spent with my 2 great sistas and their husbands, watching movies and stuffing our faces. It was nice and relaxing. The kids all had parties, (even Maleia and Jake until 9:00) so we just had little man and he was in bed by 8:00. It felt kind of weird in a nice way. So...the new year came and we trudge along.

I always feel like I should make the obligatory new years resolutions that I know won't last through the end of January, but this year I think I'll pass. Instead, I think my motto for this year will be to "Do Better". Do better at being a mom, do better at exercising, to better at reading my scriptures....just try to do better at everything. As vague as that sounds, I think I'll be happier with myself instead of beating myself up when I fail at each resolution I try to make. If I can just simply try to do better I think I will have accomplished the most important things. Life gets crazy and chaotic for me and I often find myself swallowed up in the failures instead of basking in the accomplishments. Each year brings it's own challenges and if I can only do better at handling those challenges, I will have succeeded!

I have a dear friend that was diagnosed with Leukemia just before Christmas and I find myself thinking about her all throughout the day. She's an incredibly strong person and I know she'll fight this battle victoriously, but I can't begin to imagine the fear and worry she's going through. As a mom, I'm sure her thoughts are turned to her children and how she can help them through this trial. I know, for me, when I was facing the big C all I could think about was how to make my kids feel safe and secure amidst all the fear. It's hard! But I learned some valuable lessons and foremost among those lessons was that nothing in this world is more important than family and good friends. Luckily I dodged the bullet and was able to continue on with my life without any repercussions, but others aren't so fortunate and they deal with the day to day challenges that come with fighting cancer. I watched my sis go through that and come out the winner, and I've seen others who haven't been so fortunate. This life is about doing the best that we can with what we have been given and being proud of who we are. Carla, thoughts and prayers are with you every day! You can beat this!!!! We love you!