Gratitude #3

I'm grateful for my mother! You see, this time last year, we weren't sure if we were going to have her much longer. She endured a couple of heart attacks, major surgery and a long recovery, but we still have her! She's actually spending a couple of days with us while my dad is off to a football game in Iowa. It has been such a pleasure to have her in my home and to watch her with my children. She's taught me so much about being a mom and set the example that I continually try to follow.

I remember being a little girl and sitting at her knee, listening to her stories of what it was like growing up during the depression. I remember feeling sad because she only had 2 dresses, one for school and one for church. I thought how sad that must have been. Her stories of her fears as the Indians came to their house, looking for food, and how she would hide under the table. Her stories of her bedridden, but beloved mother, who taught her how to cook and clean while not being able to leave her bed. The compassion my mother has is never ending and I try to emulate that trait but fear I'll never live it the way she has. She's spent her life caring for and about others, always putting herself last, and showing Christ-like love and understanding for all.

I'm so incredibly thankful that she's still here and that my children have the chance to know and love her for a bit longer. I watched her this evening as she cuddled my baby and sang to him as she rocked him back and forth. I remember how safe and loved I felt as a small child in those same arms. I love you, Mom. I hope we have you around for many years to come!

Gratitude #2

I'm so incredibly thankful I have a house big enough (most of the time) for my family. Some days it feels as if we are stretching it's seams to the bursting point, but there's room for all of us.

A little while ago, Jayson and JordanLee came up for a little visit and I was so glad that they had a bed to sleep in and a room to use, thanks to Jordan relinquishing his room for them. It was just fun knowing that my family was here!

Along those same lines, I am so grateful to have 3 bathrooms to take care of the needs of all of us. Often times, each bathroom is occupied, and although we tend to run out of hot water really fast, it's great that there isn't a line waiting. Growing up, I had an aunt and uncle who only had one bathroom with a houseful of kids. I remember the horror stories of everyone getting the stomach flu and the fights that ensued in front of the bathroom door! I pitied them!!!!

I'm also really glad I finally have a table big enough to fit everyone! Grandma found a great table this summer that I lovingly, and then not so lovingly after the 3rd try, refinished. Now, with all the extra leaves in I can actually sit my entire family down at the same table to enjoy a meal, instead of putting a few kids at the counter and then squeezing everyone else at the little round table, elbows and knees touching. (Mom, he's touching me! Tough luck with that one dear!)

Although my house is often a chaotic mess with toys, clothes, bookbags, papers and everything else including 2 dogs strewn around, it is a comfortable place for my family to call home. It protects us from the elements of nature and man and gives us all a place of safety and security.

Gratitude #1

Since Thanksgiving is almost upon us, and it happens to be my second favorite holiday(right behind Christmas) I decided to do a gratitude post each day until the big turkey gorging begins! So, here's my gratitude #1-

I'm grateful for modern medicine. Without it, my two preemie babies never would've survived, nor would I have made it through the whole birthing process. Not to mention that my other two birth experiences would've been a whole different story instead of the miraculous wonders that they were.

I am thankful that diabetes is not a death sentence anymore like it was when I was a kid, and that my daughter can live a healthy, full life.

I'm also thankful that the smart doctors at the U were able to figure out that Addisons was slowly killing my daughter and were able to intervene, just in the nick of time, before it was too late.

I praise the Lord that there are strong, kicker antibiotics that saved my husband from MRSA and for the calming drugs that helped me get through with my sanity intact!

Yes, I'm thankful for modern medicine that touches my family every single day! From the innocent ibuprofen to the stronger pain killers that made my son bearable when he had his surgery. Where would I be without it? Not here, that's for sure! Thank you medicine gods!

Time sure flies!

Time sure flies when you have a houseful of sickies! Sad thing is, only half of us have gotten the bug so that means we're still in the thick of it! Just the cons of having a large family, I guess.

I've had a lot of time lately to contemplate what my role is here. I've kind of felt lost over the last three years, since my dream job of assisting with adoption has ended. It was my passion, my life, and to have it end the way it did has left me in a sea of questions. I felt fulfilled because I was doing something to help others and watching the whole process of families being united was awe-inspiring. So many times I would feel distraught and discouraged because it didn't seem like the things I was doing was making a difference, and then blam! it would all fall into place and the children that were meant for the right families would find their way. I was humbled time and time again by the process and felt so blessed to be a part of it. And then it was over.

My journey ended in ways I never anticipated and now there's a hole that I can't figure out how to fill. I have an incredible family that I love with all my heart, but a part of me is missing, that part that makes me feel fulfilled. I can't seem to find my way and now it feels like I'm just treading water, going from one day to the next. In fact, many days I never even step out of my house except to take the kids to school. Pathetic, huh? I keep racking my brain, trying to find something, anything, that will bring me back but it eludes me. Every time I think I've hit on something, it just doesn't feel like the right thing or the right time. I guess I just need to be still for awhile and listen to that inner voice. Maybe someday I'll find what I'm looking for.

Attention Legacy families!

Party time! Any Legacy families reading this? Hope you can make it to the party tonight!

Time: 6:00 pm
Place: 3070 Nila Way (3070 E. 4100 S.)
Salt Lake City, UT

Bring a potluck dish and pop to share. Can't wait to see you all!!!!

Where's my mojo?

It's almost 9:30 and I have so much to do today and yet...here I sit, in my jammies, playing on the computer and postponing the inevitable. Toilets to scrub (might have to take dynamite to them!), floors to mop, dishes to do, laundry to fold, and the list goes on. I'm having a really tough time motivating myself to do much at all.

In fact, I can't motivate myself to do anything lately. Is it the fall blahs? I love the fall, the cool, crisp air, baking all the wonderful fall goodies, stew on the stove, bread in the oven....and yet I can't find the energy to do any of it. WHAT IS MY PROBLEM?! I sat around all day yesterday eating my kids Halloween candy and feeling sorry for myself. I can't put my finger on it, but then again I'm too drained to concentrate long enough to figure it out.

Speaking of Halloween, can I just say I'm glad that holiday is over? Not one of my faves. In fact, we could just skip it as far as I'm concerned. The only good thing about Halloween is sneaking into the kids candy, but then again I feel guilty after snarfing it all down, so I guess I can't even count that as a good thing.

I need a hobby, or something I can sink my teeth into and feel some sort of satisfaction and success. When I was helping with adoptions, I had a passion and goals. Now, I just have my beautiful family, but I need something for me. Something to validate my existence. What is it? Can you help me find my mojo?

Badger football

Our son is a coach. A football coach! Not just any football coach, but a football coach for SNOW COLLEGE! We love our Badgers!!!




Because we have "connections" we get to go to all the Badger football games we want to. Here's a countdown of why I love Badger football~

- I get to spend time with my football lovin' family!
- The Badgers are AWESOME!
- I love to watch my son in action
- Fall is football, football is family, family is fun!
- Gotta get my kettle corn fix!
- Did I mention how much I love football?!





We don't always take the whole crew with us, but since last weekend was Homecoming, we thought it appropriate. It's a long 3 hour drive and little man screamed the last 20 minutes of the trip down, but it was still a fun road trip. And, of course, the Badgers WON!!!!







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Small town, big hearts

So, I live in this quaint little town that I dearly love. There was a time when I didn't love it so much. In fact, I hated it. You see, I grew up in a bigger city where everyone kept to themselves and your life was private. In a small town, there is no such thing as private! I resented the fact that everyone knew me and knew everything about my life. I had just moved here as a newlywed and I hated going anywhere because inevitably I would get stopped by someone (stranger to me) and given the 20 questions quiz. Because J was a homegrown boy, everyone knew him and therefore, they knew me.

It took some time for me to get used to the idea that most people here were genuinely concerned and interested in us. I'm sure there were some that were just plain nosey, but for the most part, this little town was more like one big family. I finally came to the point that I enjoyed seeing my "friends" out and about and I no longer ducked for cover whenever I saw a familiar face. My heart is cemented here now and it would take a major disaster to get me to leave!

I've been reminded again of the small town/big family we have here. We received incredibly sad news on Saturday that a beautiful young wife was tragically killed in a car accident the night before. She was someone who had gone to school with Cecy, married a guy who was friends with Jayson and we have a close relationship to both her family and his. The heartbreaking part is that this young couple had only been married a little more than a year and were expecting their first child. As the news was spread, our little town grieved right along with the families. So many people have been touched by this couple and the loss is devastating. The outpouring of love and support has been amazing.

I love my little town. I love that I can walk down the street and pass by people I know. I love knowing that if there was a need in my family, people would come to our aid. I love that this little village is helping me to raise my kids. There is a sense of safety and security in living here that I never had in my "bigger city" years. I'm lucky to be here!

Another week come and gone and here we are back to Monday. The weekend was hectic and crazy, like always. I just seem to get further and further behind! Maybe someday I'll catch up to myself? I spend so much of my time lately simply following little man around. He's become a destructive ping pong ball, going from one mess to another. I took my camera and followed him around for just a few minutes one day last week until I finally had to put it down and try to save my house. Here's the proof!



This was the first mess. And in the time it took me to grab my camera and snap this shot, I turned around to find this-



By the time the pans were put back, he was on to this-





And then-



And back to this-




All within 15 minutes! Now you can see why I don't get much accomplished during the day. This too shall pass, right? Please?!

Monday, Monday...

It's a Monday kind of day...wait, it IS MOnday! Oh well.



We had an incredible weekend and it was really hard to get up this morning. General Conference was wonderful! I'm always a bit sad to see it end. This conference was especially incredible with the announcement of a temple to be built in our little Brigham. When the prophet made the announcement, our house errupted. Truth be told, I didn't hear much of the next talk given because we were all abuzz about the temple. I cried. I never thought it would be a possibility where we have two temples so close and I'm humbled to think that we will be blessed to have one literally just blocks away. I can't wait!!!!

I'm so honored to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It is my life! Growing up a member can sometimes make it seem insignificant, but I was reminded, once again, what a blessing it is. I hope that I can be the kind of example to the world that I need to be.

Tired of being sad!

I'm tired. Tired of being sad, so it's time to move on. I think I'm taking this harder than I expected to. The whole "can't get moving" and "just want to stay in bed". I think maybe it's bringing back some really painful memories of the past that I'd really like to forget ever happened. Anyway, as I said, it's time to move on....

Little man has really been keeping me on my toes lately. He was such a calm, easy baby and now that he's hit the toddler stage....man, oh man! He literally goes from one thing to the next without stopping to take a breath. He's learned to climb, and climb he does! Anything that's vertical is fair game and it doesn't take him long to master it. His favorite place right now is the dining table. First I tried simply pushing all the chairs in. Ummm, no go. He figured out how to turn them just enough so he could climb up and get on the table. I finally resorted to turning all the chairs facing out so he can still climb on the chair but he can't get to the table. I bungie corded the oven door so he can't climb on that anymore but just today I caught him standing on the edge of the pan drawer under the oven. He had pulled it out and was precariously perched on the edge as he tried to reach a spoon on top of the stove. Bathroom doors MUST be kept closed at all times, that's a given, but even when it's in use if the door isn't shut all the way he will push his way in and proceed to "help" with the job at hand. Not a pleasant thing to have a toddler's hand trying to reach between your legs in the middle of business! I'm just afraid we're only beginning to see the damage and destruction this little boy can cause!

I asked Jake the other day to do something for me and after a little huff of exasperation he sang this little ditty. Those of you with Primary age kids, just hum the chorus of Nephi's Courage!

"I will go..."
"I will do..."

"The stuff I gotta do."
"Even if I don't want to..."

Yea, that brought a chuckle to my heart. I guess I need to make it my motto. Sometimes that "stuff" is pretty hard to take, though.

Better days are coming....

Sad

Nothing in this world is more fierce than a mother's love. My children are my life. I laugh with them, play with them, cheer them on, and cry with them. Well, the tears are free flowing tonight.

My beautiful Cecy has had more than her fair share of struggles in her life. For a long time, she was the princess of this family, being the only girl, and was doted on by everyone. When she was diagnosed with diabetes at the age of 4, I thought my world was crumbling but she taught me resilience in the face of trials. Once again, when we almost lost her 2 years ago with Addison's disease I lost it and she taught me strength and determination. I've learned a lot about faith through her. She's my rock!

Well, tonight we found out that the birth mom who had asked her to adopt her baby has decided to keep this child. Cecy had been told by several different doctors that having a biological child, for her, was a risky thing and very likely not a possibility. She's struggled so much lately with her health and when the opportunity was laid in her lap for her to become a mother through adoption, we all felt it was an answer our prayers. Cecy has dreamed of nothing more than to become a mother and it seemed her dream was coming true! Now, to have to put that dream back on the shelf after all the planning, imagining, and hoping is more than hard. It feels almost like a death to me, and I was only the grandma to be.

But in true Cecy fashion, she has given me courage to put those feelings aside and go on. I know as time goes on, our hearts will be healed and I also know there will come a day when I will be able to see my sweet daughter holding a precious child in her arms. But for now, my heart hurts.

Busted!

Little J-man has definitely reached the toddler stage! He's learned to climb and he's becoming a regular little monkey. Look where I found him this morning, snatching a cookie! (Ignore the ghastly oven!)

Monovision

Ok, after my last post, I've decided I'm not just color blind but BLIND in general! I've reached that ripe old age where it's necessary to use reading glasses, or cheaters as I like to call them. It's an absolute pain in the patootie to have to wear glasses and contacts at the same time. I feel like an old lady! Well, my sis-in-law turned me on to monovision contacts and let me tell you, there isn't a happier old lady out there than me! Basically, I wear one contact to correct my far vision and one to correct my near vision. It's been a bit tricky getting used to them but I'm getting the hang of it.

I hate the fact that I'm getting older. I feel like I should be twenty-something. Heck, I'd even settle for thirty-something. Instead, I'm smack dab in the middle of my forties and the big five-o is creeping up. I remember when my mom turned 40 and thinking she was so old. I wonder if my kids look at me in the same light as I did my mom so many years ago? Why do we have to age anyway?!

I was counting things out and by the time my last kiddo goes to kindergarten I'll be 50. I'm sure I'll get the "Is this your grandson?" questions and I'll proudly admit he's my son. Then I'm sure I'll get the "No way!" expressions but I knew what I was getting myself into when we brought the little J-man into the fam. I hope he won't be embarrassed to have such old parents and I'm praying we have the strength to keep up with him, but what a fun way to spend my twilight years! Hopefully I'll still have my sight!

Color blind

I truly can't tell the difference in my kids! I am color blind, after all. My adopted kids are just as much mine as the ones who grew in me and the realization hit yesterday that I completely forgot they were non-biological. I had the annual eye doc appointments going with 3 of us and as I sat in the waiting room, filling out the myriad of papers, the last thing on my mind was genetics. As I filled out Brinlei's forms, I came to the familial medical history part. You know, the part that asks if there are any genetic diseases like hypertension, diabetes, metal illness, etc. Well, I filled out all the appropriate lines and then went on my merry way, tackling the other papers. I handed them in to the receptionist, who dutifully passed them on to the assistant.

When it came our turn, Brin hopped on the chair and started answering all the general questions of the day.

"So why are you here to see the eye doctor?"
"umm, well... I can't see!"
"Do you mean you have blurry vision?"
"Well, I guess so. Isn't that what the eye doctor is for?"

(Insert me snickering)

"Ok, then let's look at your papers here. No medical abnormalities. Family history of diabetes...."

At which point she looks at Brinlei and then at me quizzically.
"But isn't she adopted? So I guess the diabetes doesn't really count."

DUH! I didn't even think of her not being genetically related to me! So there you go. Adoption does make you color blind!

What is going on here?!

Ok, I've about had it with life's crap! Sorry Mom, I know crap is a potty word, but it's the only way to describe how I feel right now. It just seems like it keeps running downhill right into my life.

So, we have the 2 MRSA patients then Jordan got hit with a horrible abscessed tooth. It was one that had a previous root canal and decay got underneath, causing all kinds of havoc. He went to the dentist yesterday and was referred to an endodontist. Can you say KA-CHING?! Of course it wasn't until AFTER all the work had been done that the receptionist told me they weren't under the list of providers that my insurance company covers AND they require full payment at the time of service. Thirteen hundred dollars later I'm bawling my eyes out as I drive a drug induced achy boy home. I don't know about ya'll, but I don't have that kind of cash just laying around waiting to be spent. I'm already up to my eyeballs in bills from doctors and hospital runs. Thankfully our flex card was just loaded with our yearly allotment for health expenses, or else I would be selling one of my kidneys right about now. Holy crap!!!!

Our beater car died and we've been trying to find something next to nothing that Jay could commute in to school. No such luck yet. In the mean time, as I hinted before, I'm hoofing it most days. It's getting really old! I even walked to the grocery store the other day for dinner fixin's, for pete's sake.

On top of everything else, Cecy just lost her job. She's been so sick and missed so much work that they finally said enough was enough. It was expected and planned on, but the reality of it is now I'm stressing about how to help her and Andy.

You would think with all the stress in my life I would be able to lose all this excess blubber hanging off my body. Not so! I guess you could say I'm a stress eater and the more crap that hits the fan, the more I chow. Expect me to be an elephant by Christmas!

I'm really ready for my life to settle down!

Oh no!

Oh no! I just got a call from the doctor's office. Apparently little J-man has contracted MRSA from Jay. I took him in a couple of days ago to have a sore on his leg checked out. They took a culture from it and sure enough, it's the dreaded MRSA. His little leg has been so sore that he's been limping and whimpering anytime his leg is touched. It's also been draining non-stop since the doc lanced it. I know, nasty! I need to take him back in next week to have his owie checked again to make sure the antibiotics are working. I really didn't need this stress right now!

Cecy has been sick for the last 2 plus months, and now it looks like she's going to lose her job. She works for Qwest and has amazing insurance. Our biggest concern is what they will do without the insurance! They would bankrupt without it. She's been to the hospital numerous times over the last 2 months and I can only imagine what that would've cost them without the insurance. Just another thing to stress over! ARGH!!!!!

It's a GIRL!

Some of you already know but I couldn't help but shout it out. Yes, we are adding to our family. NO, we are not adopting again. However, Cecy and Andy are!

At the beginning of the summer, our cute little birthmom to Janzyn announced she was pregnant again and asked me if I thought Cecy would want to adopt the baby. (She knew I couldn't do it again!). I told her I thought they probably would but she needed to talk to them. Cecy was immediately on board but Andy wanted some time to think it through. Only being married a few months, this wasn't something they had planned on happening so quickly. Anyway, after some soul searching, prayer and contemplation, they decided it was a situation they just couldn't pass up.

With all of Cecy's health issues, I knew it would be better for them to build their family through adoption but I wasn't expecting it to happen so fast or in the manner that it's all playing out. I'm so thrilled that Janzyn's little sister will still be a part of our family. It does make for some interesting family tree branches! So, here's the low down. Jake and Maleia are biologically Janzyn's aunt and uncle but are brother and sister through adoption. This baby will be their bio niece and adopted niece, but she will be Janzyn's bio sister and adopted niece. Now, did you all get that? If not, just suffice it to say we're all one big, happy family!

The little princess is due at the end of December and I'm hoping she comes before Christmas. We went in for the ultrasound on Friday and she's perfect in every way. She even has Janzyn's cute kissy lips! I can't wait to see her and mug on her sweet cheeks.

I never imagined that I would become a mother-in-law and a grandmother all in the same year. It's definitely been a bang up year, that's for sure! And now the year will be ending in a blaze of glory. Everyone tells me being a grandma is the best and I'm so excited to start that chapter of my life. Now, the question is this...how do I explain to Janzyn that I'm his mom but the baby's grandma?! Could get a little confusing around here. And "grandma" sounds so old. What can they call me that won't make me feel like I should be in a nursing home? Nana is out as a possibility since that's what Andy's mom is. Maybe Gammie, or Gamma? I don't know. I'm going to have to think this one through. In the mean time, let the shopping begin!

Catching up-part three

Ok, let's see....where did I leave off? Oh, yeah, the party!

After we recouperated from the big bash, we had to start gearing up for Jayson and Jordan Lee's wedding. Can I just say that it's much different when a son gets married than a daughter? With Cecy's wedding, every day was filled with preparations and planning. With Jayson's wedding I felt more like a guest than anything. There were no preparations, other than sending out the invites. It was a mixed bag of feeling somewhat left out and somewhat relieved.

We had made reservations at the one and only Maddox Restaurant for the wedding dinner, which we had arranged for the night before the wedding. We just decided it might make things a little more relaxed on the wedding day if we had the dinner the night before and it all turned out perfect. We had also invited many more people to the dinner than what we could invite to the wedding so it made things nicer to have family and friends there that wouldn't be able to make it to the wedding. Dinner was scrumptious! All the tables were filled to overflowing with guests and we had a wonderful time. I hope that the bride and groom enjoyed it as much as we did.


Finally, the big event day came. It just so happened to be the hottest day of the summer and we were all sweltering, but it was beautiful. Jayson and Jordan Lee were glowing, and not just from the heat! The ceremony was wonderful and the rest of the day went without a hitch.


The reception was held at a beautiful garden reception place and it was exquisite. Although the temps were almost unbearable, the refreshments were just the ticket. Yummy italian ice! I had never experienced it before but my, oh my! Such a perfect cool and refreshing change from the "normal" wedding reception fare.







By the end of the evening everyone was thoroughly tired and extremely happy. I have to admit, however, that it was a bit sad for me. I was realizing that my son was no longer mine. As much as I wanted nothing more than for him to be happy, it was sad to finally accept that another woman was taking my place. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that he found Jordan Lee. She's a perfect match for him and it's obvious how deeply he loves her. Relinquishing him hurts my heart a smidge, though. I'll get over it, I'm sure.

MRSA again!

Almost exactly a year ago, Jay came home from school with an incredibly high fever, body aches, chills, vomiting, etc. We thought it was just a bad case of the flu. By the next morning, his leg was swollen and bright fire engine red. I insisted that he go into the doc as quickly as possible, and although he was reluctant he went in. The PA told him he had cellulitus, gave him a shot in the bum, and sent him home. By the next evening his entire leg was red with angry streaks going up his thigh. Jay didn't think it warranted a trip to the ER but I prevailed and off we went.


The ER doc took one look at his leg and immediately admitted him. We had no idea how severe it was until the doc enlightened us on the dangers of staph infections. It was MRSA! You know, that dangerous flesh eating bacteria that is super resistant to antibiotics? After a week long hospital stay and 3 more weeks recouping at home, Jay finally kicked it.

Here we are, a year later, and he's on his third round of MRSA. Started out with a little bump on his calf and now it's just nasty. He immediately got on an antibiotic, but it didn't seem to make much progress. He went back in today, was given a second antibiotic and told that if it doesn't clear up he'll have to go in to the hospital to have a pic line put in so that the drugs can be administered directly into his blood stream. He's one sick guy! Hopefully this second round of drugs will do the trick, but obviously this is something we will forever be fighting. It's frightening and I just pray none of the kids come down with it. Heaven helps us if it spreads to the rest of the family!

Catching up- part two

I told myself I was going to do a post a day until I was all caught up. Blah!!!!


So, to get back at it....Jordan's graduation came and went and we found ourselves knee deep in the birthday bash planning mode. Our little J-man was about to turn one and try as I might, I couldn't ignore it and pretend he was still a little baby. We had planned to have his bash outside at the Bowery next to the pool and then invite everyone to enjoy the refreshing waters afterwards. Well, if you remember correctly, June was still steeped in cool, ok downright cold, spring weather. We ended up moving the festivities to the church cultural hall (why do they call it that anyway?).

Little man's birth family cooked for days in preparation whilst I stewed and fretted about all the little details. I was informed, after buying the cutest little islandy looking outfit for Little Man, that we were all suppose to wear yellow and red (girls in yellow, boys in red). So, at the last minute I made a mad dash to try and find something appropriate for everyone to wear. I couldn't find an island shirt for Little Man that fit, so ended up with a darling red Hawaiian shirt that was two sizes too big. Good thing for tucking! He looked adorable anyway. Me, not so much in my bright yellow, knock 'em over, banana shirt that sucked to every fat roll on this poor body. What's a girl to do? Close your eyes and enjoy.

Anyway, guests started arriving promptly at five thirty, that is except for the islanders, including birth family. On true island time, they arrived a good two hours later! Luckily the food made it around seven so we fed the white folks and visited with them for a bit. It seemed the rest showed up on the second round and we did the feeding frenzie again. We had planned on about 75 people total and ended up with more like 150. Yes, we ran out of food at the end, much to my embarrassment. Oh well. We were honored with a rousing Marshallese chorus of birthday songs and at the end were serenaded with "I Need Thee Every Hour", sung in true Marshallese fashion. It was beautiful!!!!! And, of course, brought tears to my eyes. Brought to mind the celebration held in our honor on our first trip to the islands as we waited to finalize Maleia's adoption over there. There is nothing sweeter than the melodic harmony of the islands.

As I watched my Little Man tear around the "cultural hall" with minions of other littles chasing after him, my heart swelled with love and gratitude. He was the blessing I never knew I wanted and couldn't live without. He's been such an incredible bonus and I couldn't love him more. I also watched as his birth family mugged on him, giggling at his antics. Although I know he doesn't really understand who they are and the role they play in his life, I'm so thankful to know that he will always have them. He will forever know of the love they have for him and when he's old enough I'll tell him about the sacrifice made so that he could have the life he has. So that he could be mine.

Got some catching up to do!- Jordan's graduation

So....I could give all kinds of excuses for taking a blogging hiatus and they would all sound really good. They are even legitimate excuses, folks! But instead of the excuses I'll just have to do three plus months worth of blogging! We'll start where I left off...

May hit our house fast and furious. It was so hard for me to face the fact that another little chick was preparing to leave the nest. Jordan graduated! That was simply nuts for me to comprehend. Here's my little tazmanian devil, winding up his public education experience, and planning out his future. Both thoughts are more than a little frightening to this mama! Jordan has always been my up and at'em kind of kid. He never does anything half way, well...except for scrubbing the bathroom, and everything he does is done with the flair that only he can add. He's obstinate and strong willed, and oh so tender. I know, contradiction in terms but that's my boy. He's a lover and a fighter!




My wish for Jordan is that he will be able to find himself, what he wants out of his life, and take the time to listen to the inner Jordan. I've said this before, but no one else can make me laugh and make me cry like he can. I want so much for him to find the peace he's struggling to reach and find joy in the journey. Those of you with Jordans in your life know exactly what I'm talking about. He's wrapped around my little heart and I find myself constantly worrying about the paths he'll choose. He's such a great kid and I couldn't be prouder to be his mom!

Engagements

Here are a couple of pictures of the nearly marrieds. Aren't they too cute!

Wow! Where has the time gone? It's been over a month since I've posted anything and the guilt finally got the better of me. I've actually sat down numerous times but then get distracted and never type a single word. This blogging stuff has taken a back seat to life and I apologize profusely.

Here it is, the last day of school and I'm anxiously awaiting for the fun to begin. I've been planning and dreaming of this day forever. Well, at least a couple weeks anyway! You see, I'm taking a road trip tomorrow!!! That's right, I'm outta here! My sis and I are heading to the metropolis of Ely, Nevada to hang with our big sis for a few days. I SO need this break! I decided I don't even care if all we do is watch movies and eat bon bons. I may not even get dressed the whole time I'm gone! It's definite girl time and couldn't come soon enough. Life has just been so stressful lately and a break is just what I need. Bless Jay's heart, he willingly told me to go after I informed him of the trip. I actually didn't even give him a choice in the matter, but he's a trouper and gave me the thumbs up. I love that man!

Tonight is high school graduation and Jordan will be among the proud graduates. I honestly can't believe he's done with high school. Jordan is one of those remarkable kids who can accomplish anything he puts his mind to. When he was little and I was pulling my hair out in frustration for the tyke, Jay would tell me his stubbornness and strong will would get him through anything. All we needed to do was try and direct that energy into positive things. For awhile there we were worried, but in true Jordan fashion, he pulled it out and is graduating with flying colors. Out of all my kids, Jordan has continually brought me angst and joy all at the same time. No one can make me laugh like he can and no one can terrify me the way he has. I'm so proud of who he is and where he's going with his life. I'm just not sure I like the idea of him growing up yet!




Janzyn will be turning one next week and we are deep into the birthday party planning. In the Marshallese culture, the first birthday is one of the most important celebrations of a persons life, even bigger than a wedding. We are so lucky to have his birth family close to help us celebrate this milestone. I'm a little stressed about the logistics of it all, but I'm sure it will be great. I wish I had the money to really go all out, but with it being sandwiched in between two weddings, we have to take a more conservative approach. His birth family is taking care of making the food and providing the entertainment and I'm excited for the island experience again. What fun!




Well, I can smell a stinky diaper going on so I'd better strap the rubber gloves on. Oh, who am I kidding? Rubber gloves, shmubber gloves! I'm a mom of 8!!!

I keep meaning to sit down and post a little somethin' somthin' but it just doesn't seem to work out. The wedding letdown hit and now I have a hard time feeling motivated about much at all. Sad, sad, sad. Today is no different. Rainy, cold, and the perfect day to do absolutely nothing at all!

I'm not babysitting my little niece anymore and I can't decide if it's made my days easier or harder. Easier because I don't have two terrors running around and getting into mischief, but harder because now Jake is bored and wants my undivided attention all day long. He doesn't even like me to be in a different room than he is in. I don't know if it's out of boredom or insecurity, but the little tyke wants to be by my side constantly. He had another meltdown yesterday because I wouldn't fix him ramen right when he wanted it. It kind of surprised me because he hasn't had a meltdown like that for quite some time. I think any kind of change is hard for him. We're also noticing some behavior that leads us to think he might have some ADHD issues. Trying to figure out the best avenue to deal with that one, so if anyone has advise I'd be ever so grateful! I love that kiddo with all my heart and it saddens me to see him struggling.

On top of all those challenges, the little J-man is becoming more and more mobile every day. He's been walking around the furniture for quite some time and has now started taking a few steps on his own. He's also becoming more mischievous too! Anything and everything that isn't nailed down is free game to him and I'm constantly fishing things out of his mouth or fighting to remove something from his chubby little grasp. He's getting bigger and stronger too, so sometimes it's a real tug of war! He's happy all the time, which just makes me end up in a puddle of giggles when I'm trying to remove something from him and he just puts up a fight with a big ol' slobbery grin on his face. What a kid!

The rest of the fam is doing great. Jordan took his ACT test finally and has applied to go to Snow College. He's actually debating right now if he wants to get one semester in at Snow or if he just wants to go on a mission as soon as he can. He's done so much growing up over the last year and is such a fun kid to have around. Either way, I'm going to miss his mug, that's for sure. Man, I hate watching my kids grow up!!!!

The newlyweds are living the life of bliss. Cecy started a new job over in Logan working for Qwest and she's really liking it. It was a huge answer to prayers because they needed something that would give them good medical benefits and this job has an awesome insurance plan. That has been a major concern of ours and it's nice to know she'll be covered. She's an expensive one to cover, so that really makes a big difference. I think after their contract is up on this apartment they will most likely move over to Logan which kind of makes me sad, but it will be good for them to not have to make that commute. Andy will be able to go to school over there and hopefully will be able to pick up a job there too. It'll all work out!

The other almost newlyweds are thick into the planning stage. Being the mother of the groom is much easier than the mother of the bride! I haven't even really worried too much about anything. Jordan Lee and her mom have been busy making all the plans and arrangements. All I have to do is sit back and wait for them to tell me what to do! Nice!

The others are all just plugging away and counting down the days to summer. It's crazy for me to think it's almost time for the pool to open again. Swimsuit time and I'm not anywhere near ready for that! My diet went out the window a few months back and Jake reminded me that I needed to get back on the band wagon. He asked me if I was a hot mama yet. Ummm, not quite, son!

Well, it's pouring rain, the kids are slaving away with their Saturday jobs and I guess I'd better quit being lazy. I think I'll hurry through my jobs and then put a movie in. The perfect way to spend a rainy weekend!

Post wedding

Well, it's over. I can't believe it! And I have one word to describe the event...AWESOME!!!!!!

We woke to a miserable rain/sleet/snow storm but not even the weather could dampen everyone's spirits. We left Jayson and Jordan Lee in charge of the littles while Jay and I drove Cecy and Andy down to the temple. The roads were bad and we passed several slide offs, but we made it safe and sound. Walking into the bride's room with my daughter was surreal and I kept thinking it had to be a dream. I'd imagined that day so many times in my mind and to actually be experiencing it was unbelievable. Cecy was so beautiful and she absolutely glowed. She was simply stunning and it was all I could do not to bawl my eyes out.

The ceremony was incredible and the words spoken were a priceless reminder of what marriage is all about. I couldn't help but think back to my own wedding day and watching my daughter make those same covenants was humbling.

When we came out of the temple to take pictures, it was almost a total white out! We tried taking one group photo on the temple steps but I'm not sure the photographer could even see our faces! Of course, by then everyone looked like a water-logged rat. A few more pictures were taken by the atrium but we finally gave up. I think the plan is for Cec and her man to head back down to the temple on a better day and have some post wedding pictures taken.

We drove back up to Brigham and on the way passed several more accidents. In fact, one accident had the freeway to a stand still but luckily it was on the south bound lanes and not the north bound lanes. We made it to the luncheon just in time and had a delicious, relaxing lunch. Andy's aunt had put together a darling photo montage and it was fun to watch the newlyweds progress from infants to adults.

When the luncheon was over, we booked it over to the church where the reception was being held and the fun began! We had set most of it up the day before, so it was just a matter of finishing touches but my stress level shot through the roof as I ran hither and yon trying to make sure everything was just perfect. Cecy finally grabbed my arms and told me to stop and just breathe. The room looked so beautiful and springy, despite the weather outside. The cake was gorgeous, the refreshments aplenty and the bubbling fountain set the ambiance. People started arriving early and the line didn't let up until well after the bewitching hour of eight o'clock. Andy said at the stroke of eight he was headed out the door, regardless of the fact that the newspaper announcement said the reception wasn't ending until nine! That's a groom for ya! It was so wonderful to see all the people who came to support Cecy and Andy and to reconnect with friends and family. By the end of the evening my feet ached like an old man in women's shoes, my smile muscles were frozen in place and I was more exhausted than I ever could've imagined. We madly cleaned things up and made numerous hauls of gifts to the newlywed's apartment and tried desperately to hand off the remaining refreshments. We had filled and decorated over 700 cupcakes and hand dipped a bazillion strawberries in chocolate, and we had a ton left over. We had anticipated many more to be consumed and after pawning as much off as we could, we came home with four boxes of cupcakes, four huge cans of nuts and mints and two full trays of strawberries. Not even a week later, the cupcakes have all been eaten, the strawberries only lasted two days and we've been snacking on nuts and mints non-stop. One good thing about having a large family is left overs of any kind don't last too long!

All in all, it was a wonderful day celebrating the love of two wonderful people. I know in my heart that Andy will treasure Cecy and take care of her better than I could. He adores her and she him. It's bliss to see your child so happy and content, and know their lives will be eternally blessed.

My little girl is all grown up!

Just a few more pictures from our very special day!

I have so much going on right now in my life, and so many things I could blog about but where to start? Of course, on the top of my list is the weddings. It's so strange for me to realize I've grown up enough to have adult children making adult decisions in their own lives. I really feel like I should still be a young mom myself!

As I've watched my kids grow, I've always wondered what kind of adult they would make. So far, they're incredible! I credit it to the amazing dad they have. He's a much better parent than I am and I would fail miserably without him. Jayson is so much like his dad, always has been. He will be an incredible husband and father, I just know it. And Cecy is a tender hearted, loving, giving woman. She has so much self confidence, much more than I ever had at her age, and she is so compassionate. I can envision them both as parents and I'm filled with pride. I just can't believe they are at this stage in life!

My mind races constantly with things that need to be done for the weddings and I'm overwhelmed. Most of Cecy's is pretty well done and it's too early to be able to do much for Jayson's, but it's as if the wedding fairy has hit me so hard on the noggin' that I can't keep a thought in my useless brain for more than two seconds. It's that nagging, "I'm missing something big" thought that keeps circling around. Eeekgads!

The other kids are taking advantage of Mom's delirium and running wild. In fact, the two little ones are wrecking havoc in the basement as I type. Do I care? Not too much right now. I'm sure I will later, but I can't muster up the strength to care right now. Janzyn is down for a nap (bliss!) and I really need to do some laundry but here I sit. Speaking of the little J-man, he's becoming carnivorous now that he finally broke a tooth through. He gums everything in site and is even known to rummage through the garbage to find morsels. His all time favorite, however, is the dog dish and there's been many a time I've had to go fishing for kibble. What a kid! He's close to walking, despite my attempts to continually push him back down every time he tries. Not ready for that!

Well, enough rambling for now. It's lunch time! My growling stomach tells me so.

'Nother Weddin'

I'm happy to announce (finally!) that my Jayson is engaged! We've known it was coming for awhile but glad we can now shout it out. Jayson is marrying a darling gal from South Ogden that he met down at Snow. Only problem is her name is Jordan! Made for some confusing conversations until we decided to call her by her first and middle name. So...introducing Jordan Lee! We're so excited to have her as part of our family and we just hope our bunch isn't too nutso for her. We'll understand if it is. Sometimes we're a bit nutso for me!




Cecy is down to a little more than two weeks and it's crunch time. So many little things still to do. I sit up at night with my mind in a whirlwind thinking about all that needs to get done. Most of the invites have been sent. (The few hand deliveries still to come.) Picked up the dress on Saturday but we still need to have it altered. Flowers need to be put together, cupcakes still need to be filled and frosted, strawberries chocolated, we still need to find dresses for Cecy and I. The list goes on and on. I'm sure I'll forget something but the day will come and go and as long as the deed is done, nothing else really matters, right? Wish me luck!