Gratitude #3

I'm grateful for my mother! You see, this time last year, we weren't sure if we were going to have her much longer. She endured a couple of heart attacks, major surgery and a long recovery, but we still have her! She's actually spending a couple of days with us while my dad is off to a football game in Iowa. It has been such a pleasure to have her in my home and to watch her with my children. She's taught me so much about being a mom and set the example that I continually try to follow.

I remember being a little girl and sitting at her knee, listening to her stories of what it was like growing up during the depression. I remember feeling sad because she only had 2 dresses, one for school and one for church. I thought how sad that must have been. Her stories of her fears as the Indians came to their house, looking for food, and how she would hide under the table. Her stories of her bedridden, but beloved mother, who taught her how to cook and clean while not being able to leave her bed. The compassion my mother has is never ending and I try to emulate that trait but fear I'll never live it the way she has. She's spent her life caring for and about others, always putting herself last, and showing Christ-like love and understanding for all.

I'm so incredibly thankful that she's still here and that my children have the chance to know and love her for a bit longer. I watched her this evening as she cuddled my baby and sang to him as she rocked him back and forth. I remember how safe and loved I felt as a small child in those same arms. I love you, Mom. I hope we have you around for many years to come!

Gratitude #2

I'm so incredibly thankful I have a house big enough (most of the time) for my family. Some days it feels as if we are stretching it's seams to the bursting point, but there's room for all of us.

A little while ago, Jayson and JordanLee came up for a little visit and I was so glad that they had a bed to sleep in and a room to use, thanks to Jordan relinquishing his room for them. It was just fun knowing that my family was here!

Along those same lines, I am so grateful to have 3 bathrooms to take care of the needs of all of us. Often times, each bathroom is occupied, and although we tend to run out of hot water really fast, it's great that there isn't a line waiting. Growing up, I had an aunt and uncle who only had one bathroom with a houseful of kids. I remember the horror stories of everyone getting the stomach flu and the fights that ensued in front of the bathroom door! I pitied them!!!!

I'm also really glad I finally have a table big enough to fit everyone! Grandma found a great table this summer that I lovingly, and then not so lovingly after the 3rd try, refinished. Now, with all the extra leaves in I can actually sit my entire family down at the same table to enjoy a meal, instead of putting a few kids at the counter and then squeezing everyone else at the little round table, elbows and knees touching. (Mom, he's touching me! Tough luck with that one dear!)

Although my house is often a chaotic mess with toys, clothes, bookbags, papers and everything else including 2 dogs strewn around, it is a comfortable place for my family to call home. It protects us from the elements of nature and man and gives us all a place of safety and security.

Gratitude #1

Since Thanksgiving is almost upon us, and it happens to be my second favorite holiday(right behind Christmas) I decided to do a gratitude post each day until the big turkey gorging begins! So, here's my gratitude #1-

I'm grateful for modern medicine. Without it, my two preemie babies never would've survived, nor would I have made it through the whole birthing process. Not to mention that my other two birth experiences would've been a whole different story instead of the miraculous wonders that they were.

I am thankful that diabetes is not a death sentence anymore like it was when I was a kid, and that my daughter can live a healthy, full life.

I'm also thankful that the smart doctors at the U were able to figure out that Addisons was slowly killing my daughter and were able to intervene, just in the nick of time, before it was too late.

I praise the Lord that there are strong, kicker antibiotics that saved my husband from MRSA and for the calming drugs that helped me get through with my sanity intact!

Yes, I'm thankful for modern medicine that touches my family every single day! From the innocent ibuprofen to the stronger pain killers that made my son bearable when he had his surgery. Where would I be without it? Not here, that's for sure! Thank you medicine gods!

Time sure flies!

Time sure flies when you have a houseful of sickies! Sad thing is, only half of us have gotten the bug so that means we're still in the thick of it! Just the cons of having a large family, I guess.

I've had a lot of time lately to contemplate what my role is here. I've kind of felt lost over the last three years, since my dream job of assisting with adoption has ended. It was my passion, my life, and to have it end the way it did has left me in a sea of questions. I felt fulfilled because I was doing something to help others and watching the whole process of families being united was awe-inspiring. So many times I would feel distraught and discouraged because it didn't seem like the things I was doing was making a difference, and then blam! it would all fall into place and the children that were meant for the right families would find their way. I was humbled time and time again by the process and felt so blessed to be a part of it. And then it was over.

My journey ended in ways I never anticipated and now there's a hole that I can't figure out how to fill. I have an incredible family that I love with all my heart, but a part of me is missing, that part that makes me feel fulfilled. I can't seem to find my way and now it feels like I'm just treading water, going from one day to the next. In fact, many days I never even step out of my house except to take the kids to school. Pathetic, huh? I keep racking my brain, trying to find something, anything, that will bring me back but it eludes me. Every time I think I've hit on something, it just doesn't feel like the right thing or the right time. I guess I just need to be still for awhile and listen to that inner voice. Maybe someday I'll find what I'm looking for.

Attention Legacy families!

Party time! Any Legacy families reading this? Hope you can make it to the party tonight!

Time: 6:00 pm
Place: 3070 Nila Way (3070 E. 4100 S.)
Salt Lake City, UT

Bring a potluck dish and pop to share. Can't wait to see you all!!!!

Where's my mojo?

It's almost 9:30 and I have so much to do today and yet...here I sit, in my jammies, playing on the computer and postponing the inevitable. Toilets to scrub (might have to take dynamite to them!), floors to mop, dishes to do, laundry to fold, and the list goes on. I'm having a really tough time motivating myself to do much at all.

In fact, I can't motivate myself to do anything lately. Is it the fall blahs? I love the fall, the cool, crisp air, baking all the wonderful fall goodies, stew on the stove, bread in the oven....and yet I can't find the energy to do any of it. WHAT IS MY PROBLEM?! I sat around all day yesterday eating my kids Halloween candy and feeling sorry for myself. I can't put my finger on it, but then again I'm too drained to concentrate long enough to figure it out.

Speaking of Halloween, can I just say I'm glad that holiday is over? Not one of my faves. In fact, we could just skip it as far as I'm concerned. The only good thing about Halloween is sneaking into the kids candy, but then again I feel guilty after snarfing it all down, so I guess I can't even count that as a good thing.

I need a hobby, or something I can sink my teeth into and feel some sort of satisfaction and success. When I was helping with adoptions, I had a passion and goals. Now, I just have my beautiful family, but I need something for me. Something to validate my existence. What is it? Can you help me find my mojo?